So I’m sitting on the couch in the evening, watching TV, and if you looked at me, you’d think that everything’s absolutely normal. But there’s a war going on in my head! A crazy war of wits (or a war of crazy wits!) between the woman who wants to exercise and get fit and be energetic & the woman who wants to not do anything at all and just slack around.
The Good Me knows I’ve not been working out at ALL! That I’ve gained the two kilos I’d lost by walking all over Italy, and then some… that I’ve stopped yoga and jogging and walking or ANY form of exercise… and that I’m being stupid, cos I actually feel worse by not working out. I have less energy, my body hurts and I need caffeine to keep me going through the day.
But Slacker Me is a sly lil bitch! She has all the excuses! She talks about how work’s been hectic, how exhauuuusting it is to constantly be around clients and be on “people mode” all friggin day, how even my meals are about work, with breakfast and lunch meetings with clients and stuff, so I deserve to chill out for a while.
This confuses me, which is exactly what Slacker chick wants. And then, because the part of me that wants to exercise won’t shut up about it, Slacker negotiates, the sly minx!
“It’s 7:13pm now. I’ll go by 7:30. 7:13 is such an odd number!”
At 7:30…. ” Oooh! I love this show! I’ll go after that!”
After said show…. “If I go NOW, then I’ll end up having a late dinner, which is just NOT HEALTHY! So really, I should have dinner NOW, and THEN go!”
After dinner… ” Oh boy! It’s too late now! I’ll get up early tomorrow and go for a jog. Early morning jogs are the best! I’m going to put the alarm for 6:30am!”
Of course, Slacker Me and the snooze button have an understanding between us, and we snigger quietly, cos everyone knows I’m not getting out of bed until 8am.
Now that I’m awake and feeling miserable all over again, I want to beat Slacker chick senseless and start running again. I want to breathe in the fresh morning air and jog around the block till my heart’s racing and cheeks are flushed. I want to be able to ride on that adrenalin high instead of drinking coffee to keep me going. I want to DO things other than just work and sleep. I want to be able to enjoy my downtime without having to wage a war in my head about whether I really deserve it or not.
I want…. oh yeahhh! I want an exercise partner! We will push each other and keep each other going when one of us wants to give up. Okay… so if there are any strong-willed people out there who can deal with Slacker chick’s negotiation skills, please mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!