I was possessed. By Pain.
That’s the only way I can describe the past couple of weeks. Stress from various aspects of my life settled around my shoulders and my muscles twisted in protest, and stayed that way. It was debilitating, the pain. I thought I was going to die from it! Never have I experienced something so crippling and relentless! At one point, I swear, I was crying to the Gods to just kill me and end it all (I know I know… sounds melodramatic… but you have not been through what I have, so don’t judge!). My body, like the rest of my life, seems to have a flair for the dramatic. It’s like my chiropractor said “your body… when it goes over to the dark side…. it goes really dark!”
I was so defeated that one day I burst into tears at my chiropractor’s office, bawling about how tired I was of the damn pain and everything. She patted me on the head and said that I was letting stress get to me.
Dark and twisted… that’s me! *sigh*
I wasn’t even bothered about travel anymore! And when *i* don’t care about travel, you know something is terribly wrong!
But the good thing about me is… hope never dies! I’m basically a positive person (though sometimes the positiveness is buried in pretty deep). So though I had given up on life and was waiting for the sweet release of death and all that, I finally got a bit tired of waiting, and gave in. And I guess giving in helped release the stress a little bit… enough to make me get out of bed and do a little yoga… and try and begin to get in touch with the rest of the world that I was ignoring (and did you know, if you ignore the world, the world ignores you right back… very easily? It’s not very good for the ego, but there you go.)
Anyway… I’m a bit better now… not completely alright, but on the road to recovery. My doc’s asked me to take it easy for a while and not stress. I tell the woman that I’m trying, and that’s the best I can do right now.