Tolled Out!

After reading my previous post, a friend of mine pinged me on BB saying ” It seems like being single has taken a toll on you”.

He was referring to the line in my post where I’d mentioned that I’m tired of men behaving unprofessionally in a business environment cos I’m single.

I’m not sure if sick-of-being-single is the impression I gave to anyone else who read the post, I’m not and that is not what I meant to convey when I wrote it.

Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with my being single, cos I meet jerks who don’t know if I’m single or not and they still try and hit on me, or talk inappropriately just after a single conversation on the phone. But I remember my boss telling me that she used to face the same kinda crap before she got married, but now that people know she’s married and has a 4 yr old, they don’t try anything funny. I guess what she said stayed in my mind, leading me to believe that my single status is the reason these jerks behave the way they do.

Of course, if you think about it, that’s not true at all. Men who are jerks will behave the same way with single or married women. Their main concern would be whether they can get away with it.

A few weeks ago, I had talked on the phone to a prospective client about doing business together. He seemed fine when we were chatting on the phone. But then, in the evening, he sent me a text saying ” It was nicee (sic) talking to you this morning! I would love to work with you! You voice is so sweet!”

I wasn’t very sure how to respond to that, so I didn’t. So then he calls me, asks me if I was offended by the text. And when I  didn’t respond in the negative, he interrupted me before I could say anything beyond “well..”, apologized and said to forget it ever happened.

I let it go. And then, on the day I wrote the previous post,  I receive a text from him again – ” thinking of you. :)”

WTefffffff is that?!

And this, my friends, is just the tip of the twisted and creepy iceberg! When traveling, sometimes I’ve been asked by people to “check out the view from my room” and  all sorts of crap.  None of these have been by my colleagues thankfully, I work with a bunch of extremely decent men! But the ones I have to work with, the clients and the vendors…. while a lot of them are nice, quite a few are absolute creeps.

And when I face such blatantly inappropriate behaviour, I’m not really sure how to respond to it. I usually try and ignore or laugh it off as a joke, though I’m seething inside. I’m not sure if that’s the right response anymore. But I don’t know what to do! 

So you see, it’s not that being single has taken a toll on me. Dealing with men such as these, who disrespect  and objectify women, who try and get something on the side if possible though they are “happily” married men … that’s what’s taken its toll!

7 thoughts on “Tolled Out!

  1. nmaha says:

    Like you said, creepy men will always be creepy. The only difference is that a married woman has the equivalent of a man-repellent spray, though immunity to this may also build in time. Having a child below 5 is a long-term repellent, especially if you discuss potty training and digging for gold (nose-picking) openly.

    I suggest in dire situations you discuss an especially disgusting episode involving a nephew or niece. Include tooting, vomiting and wetting.

  2. chandni says:

    good lord! do u even have to explain this???
    I’ve been through numerous such experiences, and once stalked very badly by a 40 yr old father of two, so much so that I contemplated quitting!

    • Sanjana says:

      I didn’t write the post to explain, I wrote it cos I wanted people to know!

      It’s terrible, the way these people behave! One minute they’ll be talking about their new-born babies, and the next they’ll be insinuating everything that makes us cringe within! And I can’t do a thing about it cos they’re too powerful!

  3. Stephanie Faris says:

    The scary thing is, I’m told by co-workers that married men were the worst offenders as far as inappropriate behavior at conferences and other out-of-town work events. That just makes me kinda sad!

  4. Sanjana says:

    That’s SO true! I haven’t had even one guy who’s single behave inappropriately at the work place (pls note the clause AT THE WORKPLACE). It’s always been the married ones.

  5. Sig says:

    Jerks lol.

    You should casually mention that you have been learning some form of martial arts and learnt this next new trick that makes men’s balls shrivel up. :P

    I’ve had clients call me inappropriate nicknames, but colleagues know I am married and never try anything.

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